It can be so much fun! Here are a list of things you can do when you’re back on the single’s circuit after a long time (read painful, long, messy relationship).

1. You can laugh as loud as you want at a joke till you go red in your face and your eyes start watering without having to worry about embarrassing anyone but yourself.

2. You can look beautiful for ‘you’.

3. You can have all the popcorn at the movies.You can go shopping without hearing anyone whine and crib throughout!

4.You needn’t wait for approval when you really want to go on a wild adventure trip with your friends.

5. You’ll never be too lazy to do your own work (like recharging your sim, getting photocopies and other mundane jobs!)

6. You can fight for yourself and create hell for auto drivers, cashiers and road romeos

7. You can say, Phew thank goodness destiny saved me from that crap. A few months of pain is better than a lifetime of torture!!

8. You begin to notice things that you ignored when you were too in love. Your brother’s newly sprouting moustache, your old novels, childhood pictures. And of course, other fish in the sea!!

9. You realize that life is like a math test. you’re good at addition and subtraction but completely suck at multiplication and division. That it’s important to be working on your math home work rather than staying mad at the teacher who failed you. P.S.: YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE YOUR EX FOR YOUR OWN SAKE!

10. You find comfort in people you’ve begun to see differently all of a sudden.

11. You learn to love yourself.

12. You’re not afraid to love again even after being kicked in the teeth once before. New love need not fill up the same void. You’ll probably love much more!

13. When you do something incredible at work as an independent person, with your own grit and passion, you can throw your head back and laugh, thinking ‘woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle’ Who needs ‘em anyway!

Like I said, moving on and enjoying the freedom called ’singledom’ is perhaps the best thing that can happen to anyone. Like they say, the only constant in life is, well, change!

A couple of days ago, I had the misfortune of being forced to watch a daily soap called ‘Raja ki aayegi baaraat’ that my grandparents keenly follow every night at 8 PM. I think people have been so engrossed in bashing Ekta Kapoor’s double K shows that they’ve spared this piece of junk.

This show is an excuse for family entertainment and only confirms your notion that Indian television soaps have indeed hit rock bottom. Let me validate what I’m saying with an example of the episode I just watched. The show is set in a huge palace, with huge chandeliers, courtyards, lavishly furnished with alarming numbers of maid servants. The royals are perpetually dripping in velvet and pearls and my observation of their behavior makes me want to believe that the richer they grow, the dumber they get! Nothing new, you say? Let me tell you more. So anyway, the spineless prince is in love with a the brainless maid and invites to her to have breakfast with his family at their dining table, much to their annoyance and disapproval. With his ‘aankhon ka ishaara’ the prince tries to silently tutor the maid to eat with a fork and knife as she struggles to do so while everyone is staring daggers at her. When the prince eventually realizes that she can’t, he tries to make her feel at home and begins to eat with his fingers just as she does. So sweet right? Wait, don’t be so quick to think so. When prince charming ditches his fork and spoon, all hell breaks loose in the palace and the king is furious about him doing something so uncouth.

For the next half an hour all you hear is how uncivilized it is to eat with one’s hands. That too on an soap which shows off so much pseudo-Indian culture like calling one’s husband ‘patidev’ or ‘rajasahib’, naming their kids yudhishtir, bhanumathi etc., the queens wearing so much finery that would cost more than their both their kidneys put together and servants being treated worse than mules! So what’s with all the hypocricy about eating with one’s fingers? Is that any less Indian? Why shy away from our real culture than putting up a facade of the false prestige and grandeur?

It just ticked me off completely that the scriptwriter of the show still wears blinders and looks at India in such a fake and superficial manner! It really is a shame that these shows are watched daily anyway , which in turn pays these mediocre scriptwriters, which in turn puts food on their table, which I’m goddamn sure, they’ll be eating with their hands as well! The bar has just been raised for Ekta Kapoor I must say. God bless her!

Wondering what the weird-sounding abbreviation expands to?

It’s something I’ll never forget the rest of all my living years! I must confess that as much as I hated my engineering days, I did secretly enjoy my final year. Not just because I could soon fly out of the cage that I was trapped in, but also because of my final year project- CCTMP.

Now I’ll tell you what it stands for- Controlling Computer Through Mobile Phone. It was a project which aimed at using a mobile phone to control your personal home computer, while you’re at work. Our team consisted of 4 girls and we were determined to make that project happen and break the myth that girls are technologically challenged. We wanted our software to be useful to those absent-minded people who come to work and realise that they’ve left back some important documents on their desktop at home. So we simulated a mobile phone browser on one computer and a home PC on another. Using .NET platform, which is a wonder software, two of them were able to write the code to delete, copy, paste, send files and folders from one computer to another through MS Outlook. MS Outlook was programmed to keep checking the user’s gmail account for new messages every one minute. If the user sent a message to his own e-mail account with the subject line “command”, through his mobile phone, MS Outlook would open the message and parse it’s body. Based on the command the user has entered, like ’sendfile sourcepath destination’, the program would execute it. But there was a catch to it as well. The only hurdles we couldn’t get past were, that the computer is supposed to be kept on while, the user leaves for work and that he remembers where his files are located on it. Another drawback was that this software would be at the mercy of a mobile service provider. If the network was down, our product would be down too.

When i look back now at CCTMP, I feel a sense of accomplishment that something amateur yet so wonderful emerged out of our own hard work. It reminds me of how ecstatic those young boys in the book ‘October Sky’ were when the rocket they built with their very own hands takes flight. It may not have been the most spectacular thing, but the experience of 4 best friends joining hands to make inanimate technology do something (for some forgetful people who are willing to buy our product!!!) is really something you want to carry with you. It was not just about new media, it was about discovering new heights in determination, perseverance, patience and hard work ‘to make things work’.

Everybody has a ‘first e-mail memory’. Mine was when I was 14 years old, in a little cyber cafe that was owned by my cousin. I remember staring at him in wide-eyed amusement as he told me that I could send letters and photos to anyone, anywhere in the world and it would reach them in the click of a button. At that age, I was quite sentimental about ‘firsts’ and attached way too much importance to it. So it took me a while to decide who I wanted to send my first e-mail to. The only person I could think of, at that moment was my pen pal from Korea. Juno Kim and I had been in touch ever since were ten but I had seen only an old black and white picture of her, taken ages ago. Over the years our letters had decreased. I guessed she would have forgotten me or found a new pen pal. So I wrote a long mail and attached my latest picture for her. I vividly remember how a smile formed on my lips when I saw the message, ‘Your mail has been sent!’. Days went by and I finally recieved  reply from her. It was only when I e-mailed her did I find out that she had moved to another house after it had caught fire. She had lost all my letters in the process and found no way to write to me after that.

Juno and I still keep in touch even to this day. We have shared pictures, music, links, secrets and jokes over e-mail. But we made sure we didn’y give up on good ol’ traditional letter-writing over the years. In fact she sends me birthday cards by post which I preserve for prosperity. Her exact words were, “You can’t smell the perfumed paper from the computer, can you?” I agree, Juno Kim. Snail mail or e-mail. Either way, we will be friends forever!

There’s no limit to what you can find online- lecture notes (to save yourself during last minute cramming the night before the exams), music (that you’ve heard on your favourite TV series and you can’t wait for it to get on to your iPod), latest stock market news (that you couldn’t catch on TV), 15-minute recipes (to save your face when your friends mannerlessly gatecrash). But SOULMATES? A few decades ago, who would have ever thought that their knight in shining armor would come to them not on a horse but on a matrimonial website?!

It’s amazing but true. New media which appears superficial and virtual on the outside, does touch our personal lives. Ever since the 1998 rom-com “You’ve Got Mail”, starring Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, people actually sat up and took notice of this new concept of finding love over the internet.

I guess sometimes even if you’ve known someone personally for years together, it still feels like you don’t know them at all. So I’m not too surprised that people go in search of their life partners through the portals of shaadi.com, bharatmatrimony.com, jeevansaathi.com and the like. What’s more, now there’s a glimmer of hope even for divorcees to find love again, thanks to an idea like secondmarriage.com.

I often wonder what it is, about these alliances that make them click despite geographical distances; how these people find it in them to trust a stranger’s profile so completely as to marry them. But at the end of the day, I guess as long as e-cupid has fixed up the right people at the right time, there’s nothing more they can ask for. After all, aren’t we human- a race that’s constantly in pursuit of happiness?

When I turned 20, all I wanted was a mobile phone. It was the latest gizmo that everyone flashed around in college those days. Not that I was trying to fit in to the ‘cool’ mobile phone owners’ club, but I wanted one because I was really fascinated with all the fancy things it could do. So I had begged and pleaded and cried before my parents to buy me one. But they didn’t seem to pay any heed to it. After a while I got so desparate for one, that I started promising to get good grades in college, to do the laundry every week and clean the house for a month. So my mother hesitantly offered me her barely functioning Samsung phone with a bent antenna. The sight of the device was so pitiful that I realized no phone was better than hideously ugly phone! ‘Suit yourself, at your age, we weren’t even given pagers’, she said, when I turned up my nose at the deal.

The whining and coaxing went on for a couple of days more and later the obsession just fizzled out. I had made my peace with it and moved on to more creative hobbies to divert my mind from being doused in jealousy whenever my friends happily texted away. One such hobby was candle-making. I learnt it from a cousin of mine, who was quite a pro with wax. I began just the way he had taught me. Stubs of white wax, scrapings of colored crayons, stirred constantly on a low flame and then cast in a tequila glass dusted with glitter. The only step I got wrong was the flame which was too high, causing the whole container to catch fire in my kitchen. My panic and anxiety rose jsut like the sooty smoke which painted the ceiling an alarming shade of black. I froze in one spot as I saw orange-colored wax had spilled over on the stove, cabinets and floor. I had to think fast and get rid of the mess I had created, otherwise my mother would have thrown me outalong with it! Luckily for me, she was fast asleep in her bedroom only ten feet away from the disaster-stricken kitchen. So I slowly closed the door and started scrubbing the kitchen hurriedly with a new sponge and a bowl of soap water. Just when I was halfway through it, I looked up at the doorway to see my mother’s bewildered expression as she saw me go at the black stains all over the walls.

My blood went cold but I managed to mutter, “Mom, I swear this is not what it looks like! Let me explain.” Still the same expression. My mobile phone dreams were definitely over. Or so I thought!

“Oh my God, how sweet of you darling! You’re cleaning the kitchen because you knew the maid was not coming and I had a headache. How very thoughtful of you!”, she gushed.

I couldn’t believe my ears but I made sure I wasn’t grinning too wide so as to give away the secret. “Of course mom. I knew you were sick today. Come on now, this is the least I can do to help you. Now why don’t you go back to bed and get some rest?”, I nudged her with my soapy hands as I pretended to wipe my sweaty brow.

My mom still stood at the doorway, smiling at me for my ‘thoughtful’ gesture. “Wait here, I have something for you.”, she said. As I sat there wondering what it was, she emerged with her hands behind her back. “I want you to have this.”, she said, handing me her brand new Sony Ericsson phone. I couldn’t contain my joy and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. All the begging had finally paid off! Now I could enjoy typing messages in different languages, having personalized caller tunes, funky ringtones, the works!

That’s the exactly how I got my first phone. A little bit of cajoling, well ok, lots of it, promises to run errands almost setting the kitchen on fire and not having to lie about it

What are you going to do after your education? What job are you going to take up? Is that all you’re going to earn? How will you survive with that much in the city? When will you get married? When will you go abroad?

Trust me, if you are flooded with these many questions at once, you’d be nibbling on your nails and buckling too. Sometimes queries about your future can scare you more than those you answer sitting on the hot seat at KBC. Atleast there Big B gives you a minute to think and in the end of it you win something. But when I’m folks begin to ask me to ‘fast-forward’ my life so that they can see what bigger messes I’m going to get into, it can be quite annoying and unnerving. I guess their apprehensions are quite valid considering that ‘unpredictable’ is my middle name!

How do you make people realize that everything in life will happen in its own good time? You can’t rush your life and live all the good times by the time you’re thirty just because want to see instant results. What will you do after you’re forty-retire? As a good friend of mine always says, ‘There’s a totally different pleasure in watching destiny unfold before you.’ And that comes with failing miserably at times, falling down and bumping your head, getting up again… But these mistakes are mine. These decisions are mine. So they will always be dear to me. Giving your son/daughter the freedom to make his/her own decisions and learn from them is the biggest gift you can offer them in your lifetime. Probably bigger than the gift of your advice.

But let me share a queer little story I heard from my grandfather which placed a counter-view to this debate. During his ancestors’ time in 19th Century Bangalore, decisions were not just left to the elders of the family to take. They actually depended on God! The story goes something like this. When the town was hit with cholera, the family was contemplating for many days, whether to evacuate the area or not. When they could not come to a binding decision, the head of the family went to the temple, asked the priest to close all the doors and prayed before the deity. He kept all his faith in God and asked whether his family should leave the disease-stricken area. If a flower fell from the right side of the deity, it was a yes and vice-versa. Ultimately the answer that they got from the idol was a ‘no’. So they actually stayed in the same house with immense faith and miraculously they were never affected by cholera!

I was surprised to find that this custom was followed even up to my parents’ generation. That was how even their marriage got fixed! I can’t imagine myself doing the same when I want to marry someone I love. Maybe it’s because we are a generation that wants to take things in our own hands. Or maybe it’s because our faith is not as strong. I don’t know. To each his own. But what made me feel warm inside after hearing about this custom is that, in India, it is possible for both to co-exist… Faith in God and Faith in one’s self!

This is something I’ve always wondered about- What is going through a mother’s mind when she has to let go off her son? At someone’s wedding I discovered the answer…

You look beautiful in red and gold, Your cheeks flushed with a blush and eyes rimmed with kohl

It is your wedding day

You look so coy with your gaze focussed downward, at your feet

As you echo the chants of the priest

There is so much hustle around you-

Impatient aunts who monitor the wedding rituals, Little children who run helter-skelter playing their games, Incessant chatter about how hot the weather is, in May…

Yet you seem so calm, so wrapped up in pledging your life to my son

No wonder he fell in love with you I realise.

I watch my son fondly now, as he sits next to you, beads of perspiration lining his broad, handsome forehead

It is strange how you cannot take your eyes off your feet and he?

He cannot take his eyes off you!

Even stranger is how fast the years go by,Turning my little boy into your doting man

Yes, he is yours, beautiful girl

He has grown up, while I have grown old.

It has been the greatest pleasure to have held his hand and guided him through bright and sunny valleys and also cold and dark alleys

And today I am proud to see him emerge unscathed and even stronger.

But behind that invincible frame I know there is a child who wants to come home to loving arms. I hope you will be those loving arms, beautiful girl?

He never wakes up on time, unless he is shaken gently. Snoozing is a childhood habit he still carries with him.

He loves warm, home-cooked meals with the family rather than formal dinners and parties

Many a time he reads late into the night and falls asleep wearing his spectacles. Don’t ever allow him to drive without his seatbelt on. Throw a tantrum if you have to, just like I used to.

He gets very moody as deadlines inch closer and may curl up into a shell when he is vulnerable. Hold him and let him know he is not alone

I am indeed guilty and sorry for being so cold to you when you first came into his life. Those were my insecurities that spoke. For sharing your one precious gift with another woman is a hard task even though she may love him equally or even more.

I can see him now, from behind this pillar as he smears vermillion in the part of your ebony hair and dusts off the bit that dots your nose, gently with his soft breath.

You are now united as man and wife. You are now the woman in the second half of my son’s life. I give you his future, trusting that you will always stand by him. I will gladly be his past.

We are two women, brought together by fate- both in love with the same, wonderful man. In ways that can never be compared.

I look down at you, as u wait for my reply

Patiently on your knee.

I thought I’d never find happiness again

Who knew you’d hand me the key?

Who knew I’d find in you…

A friend who I want to hold so close

And never let go for all my life.

All I ask of you, is to hold my hand when I’m scared

Be it of thunderstorms, darkness or life itself.

To believe that you will be the centre of my world from this day forward.

That quarrels, suspicion and betrayal will never be stronger than us.

To let me come so close to you

That I may double your smiles and reduce your tears.

Together, we can take on the world.

So walk with me.

Together, we are a miracle.

So walk with me.

Together, we are complete, with no need for another.

So walk with me.

All I ask of you in return for my heart is

A promise to not break it, ever.

So my love, Walk with me forever.